moving home..

so we get a call from our realtor on friday night telling us that she may have a tenant for our home and how fast can we get our junk out. sounded simple enough. after 3 minutes of discussion, jen and i decided to dump the kids with some friends, recruit some moving buddies, rent a u-haul, and drive 13 hrs to retrieve our "junk".

thus, our misadventure spawned from the dark pits of hades began...before this journey would end, we would be pummeled by a plague of pinkeye, vandalized by a vomitous stomach virus, and hounded by a gremlin infested u-haul truck. as a bonus, we would pass through three blizzards, and be visited by a house sitting cat with overactive bowels. all the while, being cooped up in a cab with my brother, whom i am convinced is an alien sent from some distant planet (perhaps Uranus) to contaminate our life sustaining fresh air with his limitless supply of toxic gas.

the moving crew consisted of jen, sissy, jeremiah, brad, amy, jonathon and myself (see above photo). we left early on saturday morning and were digging thru wal-mart's dumpsters for empty boxes by 10 o' clock saturday night. our plan was to pack and load all of our belonging and get back home by monday night. so, conveniently, jonathon decides it would be a great time to give pink eye a try. after a $125 trip to the clinic, we find that not only did he have the pink eye; but also strep throat and a double ear infection. to make matters worse, amy, eats some under-cooked bacon (thanks, I-HOP!) and spends the next day puking her everlovin' guts out. all things considered, we miraculously stuff everything in the truck and are on the road by monday.

just for kicks, u-haul (u-push?) rents us the most dilapidated and decrepit truck in their fleet, and coming thru the smokey mnts, we are met by a very robust, blizzard. jen was following in the suburban, towing a trailer, while i cooed and coaxed my gem of a truck up the mountain with "i think i can, i think i can, i think i can.."

naturally, the windshield wipers stopped working.
there have only been two occasions in my life when i have felt sheer terror. the first was during the birth of my daughter. jen was in the middle of a contraction, and i was "helping" by stroking her hair and offering the assuring "it's ok, baby" routine. my mistake was underestimating her pain and standing too close to her mouth. in mid contraction she chomped down on the nearest protrusion which happened to be my left love-handle. she screamed, i screamed, and for an instant, i thought i would die a horrible and agonizing death. my second brush with terror was plummeting down the slippery side of the smokey mnts in a snow storm without wipers.

by some benevolent act of kindness, we plowed through and made it back home around 1am. beat and dragging, we stumbled thru the front door to be greeted by a big, black cat and the worst smell you could imagine. evidently, in our haste to leave on friday, we had locked our neighbor's cat in our house. the cat didn't seem to mind being thrust into a house sitting job and looked very comfortable. he had scattered trash all over the kitchen, blanketed the furniture with a healthy layer of hair, and made numerous, smelly little deposits. we knew it was a male cat (pay attention daz) by the very alluring 'spray' scent that permeated the house.

ah, the joys of moving!

well, after a lot of scrubbing and a little help from the rug doctor, we erased the memory of 'Sneaky' from our abode. jonathon is hopped up on antibiotics, the snow has melted in knoxville, and i got a discount from u-haul. i suppose 'all's well that ends well' (or some such nonsense).

of course, our realtor called back. the deal fell through.

and now for a spot of poetry

My Diary Tree ......by Jeremiah('s brother)

Up in my tree
With my sweet diary
Up in my tree
No one but me

On a moonlit night
No one around
I giggle in spite
I may topple down

I love my tree
And my sweet diary
Writing secret things
No one can see

I know you would like
To see what I write
In my sweet diary
Up in my tree

Up here I am king
None can reach me
No nosey, imposing
Older sib-a-lings

I ponder the world
I ponder the sea
Wait!
Did a limb just
Crack beneath me?

I bounce
Off the ground
With a hard,
Thumping sound

Next time I will find
A much bigger tree
To sit in and write
In my sweet diary

whoopty do, it's a new year

for the past 27 yrs, we have maintained a family tradition of sorts. on new year's eve we get together for a night of board games, homemade donuts, coffee drinking, and composing year end 'thankful lists'. even while living abroad, we have, without fail, found a way to keep this custom alive. so, wouldn't you know, just mere moments before our yearly bash, both our families were bombarded with a heaping helping of the plague.

undaunted, however, sissy and i agreed to leave sick kids and spouses behind and continue with party plans. at first, it seemed a little odd not having the normal commotion that accompanies a herd of kids around; but sissy quickly made up for it by spilling hot chocolate all over herself and then christening me (and the interior of the car) with a cold glass of sweet tea. as expected, sissy's uncanny ability to spill whatever happens to be in her hands would be the common denominator during our new year junkets.

our first outing involved a trip to the woods for catchup time with cousins and some serious doubles ping pong. of course, our night would not have been complete without adam sharing one of his eastern agility skills. here he demonstrates the ancient discipline of wall walking (usually followed by the less popular art of neck breaking). after dinner, i would like to report that we settled down like mature adults and made lofty grownup talk; but actually, we hooted and hollered around adam's computer taking distorted pictures of each other and laughing ourselves into a tizzy.) it's nice to know i'm not the only cousin still stuck in my teens.

new year's eve found sissy and me at dad's house for dinner and a round of monopoly with the gang. jeremiah whipped up a batch of pork chops, peas, and cinnamon fried potatoes (?). and predictably, sissy spilled hot coffee on me. after the food, fun, and burn cream, it was time for reflection. it was at this time i devised a new year's resolution to no longer post pictures of my sister in less than flattering predicaments. to prove my resolve, i offer to you a photo of courage and self control. with pride i present proof that sissy has downsized her H.I.P.S. (Habitual Ice cream intake Per Sitting) from 1/2 gallon to 1 pint!! Good Job sis! we all knew you could do it! now if we could just work on that chocolate addiction...

my only new year's regret was that my lovely wife was not with me to share my first kiss of 2007. unfortunately, jeremiah's dog Sunny was...Happy New Year everybody!