things to do when you're 36

oddly, i awoke this morning completely forgetting my internal odometer had flipped another year. it wasn't until brushing my teeth did i glance up and notice a couple new, slightly graying hairs that had popped up to wish me a happy b'day.

hmm, 36... not really a very interesting mile marker. not like an 18 or 21 or 40 or even a 50. 36 is neither here nor there. kinda tucked in the middle of the decade. too young to sip coffee at hardees at 5am and too old to hang around the toy aisle without looking a little creepy. so, what does one do at 36? this is the question that has been on my mind all day. perhaps it's time to click on that reoccurring natural hair growth spam that plagues my junk mail, or at least become familiar with that clairol for men box i've noticed at walmart (i believe the windswept chestnut color would best complement my eyes). of course, jen is threatening to sign me up for the ol' colon flush again (think i'll opt for the pina colada flavored go-go juice this time).

to put things in perspective, i recall my perception of mom and dad when they were 35 and 36. i was 16 and remember them being respectable, mature, and very adult-like. they were lofty and imposing in their wisdom and life experiences; seasoned in their adulthood. they were the very definition of what grownups should be. but mostly, i remember them being ancient.

inadvertently, someone always asks if you feel any older on your birthday. and i guess i don't. actually, i consider myself quite hip in regards to my awareness of the latest video games and movies, i don't dress like mr green jeans, and i still think the three stooges is true comedic art. i guess i'm not ready to become the aloof, serious grownup yet. maybe this mindset is the key to eternal youth, maybe i've somehow broken this coming of age cycle and get to live the Neverland dream, (peter pan's version, not michael jackson's) where you always have fun and never grow-up...maybe the proverbial saying, 'you're only as old as you feel.' is true after all.

sheesh, who am i kidding. after reading the nonsense i've just written, i'm most definitely in the early stages of a mid-life crisis..

so, if you happen to notice a middle aged man with a faint pina colada scent hovering around the toy aisle, leave me alone. i'm just checking out the latest star wars toys..

oh yes, in response to the message left on my phone by the 'rogaine representative', (with the strangely familiar little sister voice) all i can say is, your time is coming... whaa haa haa haa [evil laugh implied]