baby names

in an effort to relieve some of the pressure and hassle of having a baby, i thought it would be helpful to name sissy and shae's new baby for them..so, i have compiled a bunch of really great names; but need some help narrowing the choices down:

IF IT'S A GIRL-

i thought it would be somewhat poetic to pay homage to sissy's middle name by calling the kid Dawnalee (or if she's born after 7pm, how about Duskalee). Aquanetta, Latrina, Fridgidaire, and Shasta hovered around the top of my list until i came across Rodana. A powerful name that demands awe and respect (and in her spare time she could team up with godzilla and destroy Tokyo). of course, there are Oleo, Velveeta, and Vienna (try not to think of sandwich cookies, processed cheese, or sausage and these are really cute names). instead of Chelsea, how about Shellsea. or better yet, Sandy Shellsea. one of my favorites was Marjorie (but i kept getting flashbacks of the parkay tub saying 'butter' and had to scratch it from my list). which reminds me, i'd certainly steer clear of names like Cody, Dorie, or Hillary (synonymous with cray-zee lay-dee) unless you intend to doom her to a spinster's life of raising housecats while reeking of mothballs and eating spam (or running for President). i thought about giving Michael Job a female counter-part; but could only come up with Ineda Job...

in the end, i settled on Harry as my all-time favorite girl name. i had intended this gem for sissy upon her arrival but was shot out of the saddle by mom and dad. of course, grandma wehrheim always leaned toward the more whimsical, earthly-toned, Fart Blossom.

IF IT'S A BOY-

i'm torn between Q-Bert, Tron, or Contra (it's hard to beat a good retro arcade game when it comes to naming kids). from a practical sense, a name like Ben Lauden or Ivan Oder would guarantee his siblings being left alone by playground bullies (as he would certainly attract all the physical abuse). Rufas, Dingy, or Pfarley Pfieffer are fun names that easily double as reasonable excuses not to turn in homework (example: Teacher- "Rufas, where is your dissertation on the rise and fall of the Wing Ding Dynasty?" Rufas- "uh, i ate it."). Stetson Colone, Buddy Wiser, and Charmin are solid, wholesome American names; but would probably open the door to perpetual locker room flogging (or perhaps a good job in advertising). Festus (not to be confused with Uncle Fester, which would just be plain mean) rounds the top of my favorite boy name list.

Congratulations pfieffer's!! soon little Harry Festus will be here and all will be right with the world..